Him

I read his letters and smile at how vividly I can see him.  I wish with all my heart that his words were directed at me, but they aren't, they are to her.  I read anyway, simply wanting to hear and feel that he is close.  Because to me he seems a dream, untouchable, just a memory.  I feel invisible to him.  He feels so big to me, he crowds my vision and thoughts, as if he is magnified, a giant when everyone else is so small. I see him. I guess it is possible to fall in love with someone who doesn't see you...a one-way love.  But maybe, just maybe...he will see one day.  See the one who sees him.  Maybe he will get home and I will be  new to him, a woman and not just a girl. I have changed.  Maybe I didnt allow him to see me before...but I will let him see me now...I am worth seeing, worth loving, worth it.  I deserve the best.  Take courage, be confident and believe that dreams do come true, that you are allowed to love, allowed to fall, allowed to hope for him.

Wanting

Wanting something so much sometimes makes me tired... and letting go is a relief that leaves a dull ache.