We, the water people, have this habit of hiding behind walls.  We do this for comfort, reassurance, security.  But all we are truly doing is separating ourselves from others, creating a bubble around ourselves.  Reassurance? Comfort? Security? How about solitude.  That's all it really is.  We fear being hurt, and so we never get close to people.  What a lonely life.  We play everything safe, never chasing wild dreams, in fact most the time we scold ourselves for dreaming such dreams. 

The music tugs on my heart strings and I feel the way we want to be one; me in the music and the music in me.  I want to laugh, cry, fall in love.  Thats what music does, it cracks open our hearts and makes us feel; the one thing most of us are so afraid of.  Because these bodies, these strong yet so fragile bodies feel it all, everything, in sharp, powerful sensations.  And yet one day something will happen; we will fall in love, find ourselves, and at that point, at least for one moment we will truly feel.  For some of us the wave of emotion and feeling will be too much and we will rebuild the wall the wave broke down.  But a few of us will take on the wave, dare it to sweep us away, but it won't, because we fear not to feel it.

You know when you read a book or watch a movie and it's so exciting and there is always an adventure in it?  I used to wish my life would be like that. Don't we all?  We all want our lives to be meaningful, we all want adventure, we all want to be the hero of our own life story, we all want a happily ever after.  But I think this is where we go wrong, this is where we blind ourselves.  At least it's where I did.
I began keeping a journal a few months ago, I've written everyday since.  I started noticing something; so much happens in a day, and every single thing is important, it makes up who I am.  I think back on memories and realize that my life has been an adventure, it's been my adventure, and I'm only fifteen, there is so much more to come.
Why do we watch movies and read books?  I think it is to get away from reality for a little while, to go into someone else's mind and life and for a time forget about ours.  Well I'm about to dive into mine.  And let you forget about yours.

My Book

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  

- Nelson Mandela